Teens – Keeping Connected

Mandatory Family Fun, which is explained more thoroughly in the “Family Meetings” article, is a prerequisite for this topic.  Teens notoriously do not want to be identified with family members suddenly, especially younger siblings – Oh No!  If you start young with Family Meetings you can ease this transition into teen years.

We all want our children to grow up.  Part of that is growing apart, or looked at from a teenager’s point of view: being independent.  At this age they try on all kinds of different personas and some of them will be in direct opposition to yours.  This is part of growing up and is normal.  That doesn’t mean that you approve of them all.  But that also doesn’t mean that you give up all rights as a parent.  NOW is the time you are most needed.

If you have not learned the art of “disconnecting” with your child you could be in big trouble right about now.  No longer is it possible to Just Say No and have a compliant person looking back at you.  All the work you have done as a family with talking about your family values, principles, mandatory fun nights, and Family Meetings, will come into play here.  You will be glad you put in the time when they were young.  You are not their friend, yo are their parent.

• What are the agreed upon boundaries for your child now?
• Have you put in place the teacher of “principles over rules”?
• What does disconnecting mean?
• How far can we go?  Can they go?
• What is safety, vs. leniency?
• Keeping connected – topic today

Your Family Coach can lead you through all these questions and help you come up with solutions that match your family specifically.

What we demand of others is what we get.  Don’t you want to have a respectful household?  Isn’t it important to guide your child through this tough time with love and support?  Believe me; they are suffering as much as you think you are, but bottom line, who’s the parent?

There are steps that you can take as a parent to keep the emotional connection open, honest, and yet somehow growing as you allow that experimentation to go beyond the family.  Remember the so called terrible two’s?  Revisit your family structure here, you’ll find that same child.  The rules haven’t changed in the game either, just their size.