Spirituality

Laws of the Universe.  Do you want to explore WHO YOU ARE?

Have you found your inner calling that answers why you’re here?

Let’s see where those questions lead to.  The depth of our hearts is not measurable in the material world.  there is a new awakening that seems to be growing at such a fast pace NOW.  Our collective consciousness needs to be aware and perhaps understood now more than ever.

You are invited to share with me your inspirations and your understanding of your microcosmic Universe.

What is perhaps missing in your life?

Are you looking for your inner wisdom – it IS there in each and every one of us.

Come explore what your intentions are for a better world.  What changes in your own life would be beneficial to all?

Have you been reading “A New Earth?,” by Eckhart Tolle or any other spiritual awareness information?

Would you like to delve into your inner world with more curiosity and see what you find?

How about “A Course In Miracles,” by the Foundation for Inner Peace.  I have been in a study group like this one for some 20 years.  It is fascinating to me that I still learn something new every time we read.

If you have an inner drive to let the world know what it is you know, come explore your options.  when two minds agree, you can create.  What is it you are interested in creating in your own life that would benefit others as well?

COME EXPLORE WITH YOUR COACH:

• The possibilities available to you
• Find out what your question even is
• Move forward into your full light of being
• Honor what you think you might be setting aside in your life due to fear
• Fear is what?  A guide post as to where you need to go
• Take a risk
• Call today for an exploratory visit into YOU.

Change

This is such a big word.  What does it mean to you?  Have you figured out that just when you thought you had it ALL figured out – what?  CHANGE happened?  It is the stuff that life is made of for sure.

How do you handle change?  Can you “go with the flow” and know that it all will work out some how?  Or are you one of the ones that is going to bend life to be exactly what you want, one way or another?

What we want out of life is not always so easily stated.  Sometimes we get caught up in the “stuff” of life; schedules (“Have to go, I’m late!”), time (“I can’t right now, I have to go!”), family demands, etc.  When are you going to stop. Just stop.  Now listen to the inner you and ask what is soo important that you have no “time”.  The treadmill will be there whenever you choose (yes, choose) to get back on it.

Let’s go to your quiet place.  What does it look like?  Do you have blue sky, birds or music you hear, soft clouds, green grass?  Describe it to me, please.  What goes on in this place for you?  Have you spent much time there lately?  Why not?  You have access to all the wisdom you wish for right inside of you.  When you have a question, don’t you go here to find the answer?  Or, did you forget about your quiet place?  Without our own quiet place we can become very lost in the stuff of life.

Change is something that has to occur in life.  Without it we would never move forward, learn from our mistakes, challenge ourselves, live a full life.  When we think it is time for a change in our lives the thinking mind becomes conscious.  Simply put, awareness makes it possible for us to create the change.  Unless we live in a vacuum, change is inevitable so why not be a creator of that change.  instead of just letting life happen you, actually take responsibility for who you are and what you want that to look like.  All the information for living your best life is abundant today.  In books such as “The Secret”, “Living our Best Life”, “The Power of Now”, or “The New Earth” we can find a dozen ways to change our lives.  What is best for YOU?

Life/Personal Coaching can get to these answers.  You are the directoror your own play (life) and how you live it.  There are guiding questions that I use to find your own answers, your own inner wisdom.  In this way, coaching only expands your own thinking and gets your in touch with what is true for you.  When there is change in you, all the forces around you will change too.  It is inevitable, and works like a pebble dropping into a pond.  It spreads ripples all the way to the end of the shores.  YOU are that pebble.  YOU can make such a difference not only in your life, but all that come in contact with you.  Isn’t this a powerful thought?  Are you ready to tackle this invigorating work to enable YOU to show up in your own life with such power?  Collectively, if we all do this, we certainly can make a difference.

School Days

There are so many topics to cover in this genre.  Helping your children navigate the hallways is not always easy.  Boys don’t have too much to say about their day, generally speaking the answer is, “Fine” or “Okay”.  Girls, on the other hand at least give you some feedback.

The first day of school can be just as traumatic for Mom.  I remember that day for each of my four children and the sadness you feel because a little piece of you is starting off on their “real” life adventure, without you, can be painful.  Routines are helpful for everyone involved just as bedtime routines help.

To set your family up for success in the morning try different routines.  What’s yours?  Is it working for you?  If not, try again.  Don’t ever be afraid of changing things up when they are not working.  Ask yourself some questions and write down the answers so you can take a look at what works and what doesn’t for your household.  In general, the calmer you are sets the tone for everyone in your house.  You are the temperature gauge for how smoothly things run.  Being the parent starts with you always.  Take time for yourself so that you are balanced and ready for any glitch that may come in the morning routine.  Counting to 10 helps you to relieve knee jerk reactions to situations.  Yes, counting to 10, before you speak, helps you analyze the situation in your mind, be more reasonable, and take charge of the hour with much more peace.

Getting everyone dressed, fed, and out the door with all their paraphernalia is a feat in itself.  Having a plan is unique to your home.  What’s yours?  If you need some help in organizing all of this, just call your Coach.

Parenting In General

Today’s world is so different from yesterday’s and tomorrow will be so different again.

How do we parent our children in today’s fast changing and fast paced world?  We better have a plan or our precious “little ones” may grow up totally alien to us.  The world has a much sooner impact on our children at earlier ages than it did for us.  Our parents certainly couldn’t comprehend what we must deal with today!

So, what’s your plan?  Do you have one?  Are you and your partner, spouse on the same page?  Have you discussed differences you may have in parenting styles?  Do you come from similar backgrounds with authoritative parenting as your base or permissive parenting household?

A Parenting/Family Coach can help you answer these questions and more.  There are step-by-step guidelines that you can learn to parent your children in a loving, cohesive manner to set up results that you want.

Without a map it’s difficult to find your destination.  Without a plan in parenting who knows where you’ll end up?

Come with me on a most rewarding journey that can help you obtain the Best of your children, your family, and even you.

Relationships

There are so many!  How can I choose which one to work on?

The simple and easy answer is:  YOU!

How we interact with others drives the relationship connection.  It changes a relationship not in how someone else shows up, but how YOU show up.

Your Personal Coach will guide you through a most amazing discovery of yourself.  All our relationships center around who YOU are.

For instance, if you are at a rough spot in your marriage, how do you get through it?  Do you work on your responsibility of how it got there – or blame the other party?

Taking an honest look at ourselves often answers lots of questions.  Only what we are aware of can we change.

It’s not to say who is RIGHT.  Here’s a great question:  Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?  In order for someone to be RIGHT someone else has to be WRONG.

Come learn how to make win/win situations out of ANY dilemma.

You are the captain of your own ship.  “How to weather life’s storms“ is just a metaphor for all the difficulties we encounter during life.  To go further, why not learn some tacks to keep the ship afloat in a stormy or calm sea.

In the marriage arena you can learn how to:

• Negotiate to win/win situations
• Be totally heard
• Honor yourself and your significant other
• Set aside differences and perceive them as acceptances
• Grow into a loving, deeper relationship

Whatever relationship you bring to the table (for your coach) there are just as many ways to have them become joyful, and fulfilling.  There are even steps to take when ending a relationship so that there is no need for: anger, bitterness, resentment, blame, shame, or guilt!  This is mandatory for divorced parents to allow healing and moving forward for yourselves and/or your children.

With your Coach as your guide you can:

• Forgive each other
• Agree to disagree and move on
• Promise to be loving parents of your children first and foremost
• Make a plan and keep it
• Put to rest all the above adjectives
• Take responsibility for your part only
• Say good-bye to yesterday and create TODAY for tomorrows

Best friend dilemmas sometimes just need a helping hand.   Someone to listen and not judge, but guide you to a better place.

Your own parents are often another dynamic that can be a challenging relationship.

A Coach holds a safe, confidential space for you to share and work out what’s best for YOU – not anyone else.  All you need to bring is a willingness to make the changes, be honest with yourself, and grow into the BEST you.  You already are a radiant, magnificent child of The Universe.

Parenting: Start Early

If you have been reading the articles on this website you will be familiar with the notion that discussion of what you want your family to look like begins before the children arrive.  We all come from different “family of origins”.  Our parenting styles will reflect that and it is not necessarily a subject that is brought up during discussions of seating charts at the wedding!

Hopefully you have done a lot of talking about what you want in your marriage.  Such as where you want to live, who does the checkbook, any stay-at-home parenting even.  We do not automatically discuss parenting styles.  How many children you want may even be broached, but we tend to “assume” we will parent the same way.

Before you get in a swivet because you are now asking, “What would you do?,” in a given situation with a child; and you are aghast at his/her answer, take a breath.  Your Family Coach could be of great assistance here. A Family Coach listens to that and helps you come up with the best structure for you.

Communication, communication, communication.  The three rules to live your marriage by.  Guess what?  They are the same for Parenting.  You can be really on the ball by talking about your different parenting styles.  Was it authoritative, permissive, or a combination of these?  Now you can come together and consciously decide what you will be doing to grow your own children.  What tools would you like them to have as adults to cope with their world?  When you both agree on HOW to parent you have a much better chance of producing what those “tools” are.

Structure, you have heard, is the foundation for households to be more peaceful, right?  It doesn’t happen by default.  That is, you have to know what your intentions are and have a game plan as to how to get there.  Your Family Coach can help you understand the whys and wherefores of  “starting early.”  You will have much more success and soo much less aggravation between you as a couple, if you do some homework.

Bed Time

This is a notorious time for difficulty in most homes.  You are not alone.  What needs to be understood to make this easier is that routine, routine, routine is the same in family structure as “location, location, location” is in real estate!

Everyone makes their own rituals around this bed time but some examples of routine for you are:  Bath time needs to be started at least on to two hours before bed.  Chamomile soap, soothing bubbles, whatever your trick is for calming and adding to some fun can be applied.  Then we have the discussion with those that do NOT like to have their hair washed.  Peaks of hair on the top of the head are always a good laugh for all.  Holding a washcloth that is rolled up and the child holds it on their forehead, helps keep running water out of the eyes.  If you have your laundry room close by you are in luck.  Two seconds of the tumble dry cycle on high heat makes getting out of the tub very yummy!  Of course, if you don’t get out in time, your towel will be cold again.  That’s a good consequence teaching you’ve just slipped in.

Reading.  Make sure you have an agreed upon book (or 2).  Whatever your limit is, stick to it.  Often times we cringe when the favorite book is chosen for the umpteenth time.  Think about it differently.  Repetition of words does encourage recognition of them even when you think they can’t read.  To change things up you could stop and talk about the characters in the book and discuss, “How do you think that made Johnny feel?”  Opportunities knock in so many different places for learning, if we notice them.

“Tuck-ins”.  Make sure you have all the necessary paraphernalia: glass of water and/or favorite blankie.  No matter what age I have always found this to be a very special time.  There is something rather non-threatening about lying quietly with your child, staring at the ceiling together, chatting about the day.  It forms connections that will last well beyond the childhood routines in our memories.  Talking softly about their day, even sharing yours too, will build a safe, secure place that enables them to speak of things they might not think to share in normal conversation.  A soft, gentle voice (yours) with the deliberate slowing down enables them to calm and get ready for dreams.

Bed time can be used definitely for that opening of the heart.  When you take this time to share and tell some stories about your life your child can relate to you from a different angle and it makes you more human to them and not just the authority figure or parent that rules over them.  Remind yourself that you are connecting on a deeper level when you are talking about feelings.  Do not take this time to reprimand or raise voices.  You can discuss other option as solutions, but you must keep your speech slow and soft.

Kisses and hugs, I’ll be right here.  See you in the morning.  I love you.

If you have specific difficulties with this time your Coach can guide you through a solution that works for you and your family.

Family Meetings

Once a week, you pick the day or night, but generally right after dinner seems to be a good time, depending on the ages of the children.  All participants will take turns running the meeting.  Make this fun while helping younger ones with scheduling topics and so on.  You could use this time to make up a list of Fun activities for the family by having everyone participate writing down their ideas.  It’s called a “Mandatory Fun List”.  It is not only mandatory that you have fun, but mandatory for all participants to engage.  Starting at a young age transitions easier for the teenagers you will have soon.

Family Meetings are a great way to encourage and grow camaraderie and “team” work for the family.  When we teach team work it does create bonding with all family members and grows a feeling of trust and connectedness with one another; joy of being a part of the whole.  You can also use this time as a designated “game” time.  use your Family Meeting for fun things as well as the schedule of talking over any differences of opinion.  there are step-by-step guidelines that can come from your coach to teach Family Meetings to your family.

Things needed for a Family Meeting:

• Pencils and paper
• Chose a paper weight or significant object
• Playing cards
• Favorite game
• Journal-”The Family Meeting Book” decorated by all
• Your imagination, creativity, and your funny bone.

Discussions that may come up are perhaps any changes from the normal routine for next week.  Also a favorite topic in our house-re-structuring of “chores”, which alleviates someone getting stuck with taking out the garbage for months on end.  We won’t mention the fact that Dad had that job until anyone got old enough!

Being the facilitator of the Family Meeting is a big job.  Once everyone gets the hang of it, it will run smoothly.  Time together is to be valued and the more you do it. the more they want it. It is a WIN-WIN for all. Have fun!

Organization Tips

We would all probably love to be that organized mom.  It is not in everyone’s makeup, but there are some tips you can draw from and practice.  Behavior changes take 28 days to become habits.  Don’t beat yourself up when you fall off the treadmill.  Just pick yourself up and start that 28 day practice again. You can do it!

Some helpful hints I found out by trial and error are here for you. Think up and write down some of your own because you will find that just thinking about this will open up your creative side that fits just your family.

Do you lose your keys on a regular basis?  Where do you put them when you come in the door?  Do you keep keys in your pocketbook, or drop them on the way into the kitchen with groceries.  You can always use a key hook on the wall  by the door.  Another idea is to place a table by the door and on it put a tray (preferably with a lip on it) to catch those keys.  Then practice by using it every time with no excuses.

As my children got older and there were several sets of keys needed for that driveway parking lot, we started a new  system that included all car keys.  That way, when someone needed to move one car to get to another – voila!

Another system we found useful was a blackboard for messages.  You can use this for messages that have come in by phone (stickies work here too).  Also this spot is great for announcements:  DINNER @ 7/KATE’S TURN TO COOK. You get the picture.  Since I myself am such a list person I have always had a tablet on the kitchen counter.  There are not many stenographers left, but thank goodness they haven’t stopped making steno pads.  You can find them in any office supply store.  They have a spiral binding at the top with a  light red line down the middle, which you do not need to utilize.  I used this pad for grocery lists – just rip it off and take with you; also for longer notes that don’t necessarily fit on the chalk board.  I found that placing this on the floor as everyone comes in with the name in magic marker (red preferably, if ya have one) will get attention and hopefully noticed.  You could go crazy and use a specific color for the name depending on who you are targeting.  That is, Anne gets written in red always; Billy gets written in purple.  You get it.

Your imagination is your only limit on this.  If you are not an organized person just ask for some help.  Your Family Coach can help you figure out how to implement any structure you are trying to form.  The big complaint is always, “But I don’t have enough time!”  Figuring out what you want to target to change everyone’s behavior can be quick when you ask for help.  Then getting supplies you might not have handy does take a trip to the supply store that you can tack on to any excursion.  Practicing each change will take 28 days.  Then you are home free.  These simple changes can make life simpler on a yearly basis.  Life changing and when you add up the time I’ll bet even you will be surprised.  Make it fun for all and even get feedback for ideas on how-to.  If  it’s not working for someone, they are responsible for figuring out how-to do it another way.  When we all partake in the idea part of change it will go so much smoother.

Have fun!

Idle Threats – Leave at the Door!

How many times have you threatened something that you definitely can’t follow through on, but it sounded good?  Example:  “Don’t do that, or I’m not letting you go to Grandma’s tomorrow?”  Of course you can’t leave Annie home alone tomorrow when she does it anyway, can you? or how about, “If you don’t stop pinching your sister, you are going to be in your room for a whole week!”  Come on, even they don’t believe that.

The reason we have to say only what we mean is that how credible do you think you become in their eyes when you use idle threats?  What are you teach them, do you think?  Mainly that mom doesn’t mean what she says, so I can do it anyway, who cares?

In the moment we have to “Count to 10″ (see e-book in Store, “Mom’s Who Hate to Say No!”) and think first to realize whether we are e-acting to the situation (you’re mad, but then you’ve had a really bad day), clear our own stuff and be responsible as the parent to deal with the situation calmly and rationally.  It’s a tall order, isn’t it?  What would the outcome be if the words were, “Annie, think before you throw that toy.  I understand you are mad.  What are your choices when you are mad?”  Working through behaviors with reason can only teach your child “how to” cope.  That is a lesson they will take with them for life.

Therefore, we much pay attention to how we are parenting.  Conscious parenting is what I learned to call it.  We must pay attention to how we are parenting.  Thinking about our own behavior in a quiet moment, not during the chaos, can enable us to make the change.

You are the one in charge at early stages in your child’s development. Your impact upon them is far reaching. Can you see that? Would you like to do better and in the learning become a better person yourself?

Your Family Coach can help you in any of the above areas and more.  What is it you would like to change in your parenting?  If you take the risk of learning more about yourself and what effect you can have on your family, change can be amazing.  So I invite you to take the plunge, get comfortable with your doubts of how you’re parenting and become conscious of what you are doing.  life is change.  Why not make it work for you?

Learn how to not need threats at all.  Parent from the inside out.  Have your intention be to help your child grow into the BEST that they can be and produce it!

Need help?  Just call your Family Coach.